A Dead Man's Necktie - Funeral Etiquette

"Trending in the afterlife - funeral neckties, a skeleton wearing a tie"

A dead man wearing a necktie to meet the creator!

What necktie will you wear to your funeral?

Funeral Etiquette, what to wear to show respect for the departed.  You may hate ties but showing up at a funeral in casual attire is tacky.  And what about the departed presuming the "no longer among the living" is not a female what kind of attire would he adorn.  You may have said you wouldn't be caught dead wearing a tie.  However, there is one time in your life, well actually in this case after your life that you may wear a necktie. Regarding your own funeral attire you will not have much of a choice in the matter because you will not be among the living. Despite your desires you may not even get to decide what kind of tie to adorn yourself with, unless you make arrangements before you kick the bucket. That is usually not something that a man tends to think about - a funeral necktie for the departed or not, what to wear after you are dead?  And what should you wear while you are among the living attending a funeral?

Pallbearers in uniform dress 

Funerals are prominent occasion for men wearing suits and neckties.  Not only for the men showing up to pay their respect for the laid to rest, but for the gentleman headed 6 feet under; wearing a necktie is considered the way to leave this life.  Not all men will be dressed in a suit and tie at their funeral and as well not all men will wear a suit and tie while attending a funeral but the men with style and character will.  For the living in western culture funeral etiquette usually prescribes men to wear black, navy or dark grey suit, white shirt and a black necktie; or a dark conservative small pattern tie that is not colorful or loud, certainly not a conversation or novelty necktie and a handkerchief just in case a lady at your side becomes in need of one to wipe away tears.

Pallbearers should wear a suit and necktie and the ties should match if possible.  This uniform style would usually be at the request of the family.  Normally a black tie is called for however there have been unique occasions where a novelty theme necktie would be appropriate.  In the case of a Spiderman fan being laid to rest the family may acquire Marvel Comics Spiderman neckties; or possibly the surviving loved ones want to send a special message by having the pall bearers wear something fun like an art necktie.  Every man should own at least one suit for showing respect on the occasion of a funeral. As for the deceased the apparel does not have to be so respectful, a Looney Tunes Marvin the Martian tie or a Hawaiian tie without a suit could be the ticket. One thing is certain most men are not buried in T shirts.

The man in the coffin makes no argument or contest, he does not laugh or cry he is just the remnants of a life passed. Since most men don't make their funeral attire style known to others ( as it is just too morbid a subject ) their surviving loved ones make the fashion decisions for them.  If the deceased has no loved ones then the funeral director - mortician makes the choices. This may not seem so troubling however some men would not want to leave this life to meet the creator dressed in something that is not of their liking. The mortician takes great care to orchestrate a hue of color and style taking great care to dress and groom the departed making the lifeless appear convincingly life-like.  Those little details like fashion accessories, or a special themed tie pin distinguish a persons character and personality.

Some men, especially surfers would prefer to end their mortal journey in a Hawaiian shirt while others want to leave their mortal life in more formal attire - a suit and tie, maybe the surfer would be comfortable wearing a Hawaiian print necktie.  I would prefer a black tuxedo and jacquard pattern black silk tie.  It there is any truth to the rumors of demons and devilish souls that are waiting to derail the otherwise un-worldly venture it would be decisive to be dressed to "kill" ( well in this case that cliche doesn't fit well ).    

Something related and fairly unusual to think about is the safety coffin.  This is a coffin fitted with a latch inside so that if you are accidentally buried alive you will be able to open the casket and escape "death" literally.  In the 18th and 19th century during the cholera epidemic there were great fears of being buried alive.  In the 13th century philosopher John Duns Scotus escaped from his casket after being prematurely sent to the afterlife and about 150 years ago Edgar Allen Poe wrote "The Premature Burial," "The Fall of the House of Usher," and "The Cask of Amonitillado" dealing with the subject of un-timely funerals.   Sometimes life or in this case death is stranger than fiction. 
   

The JFK Funeral - the end of Camelot

Therefore the illustration above makes perfect sense considering the fact that timely or not, not everyone wants to leave this life for one reason or another.   Unfinished business, an ax to grind, or maybe this "gent" hated that red tie that the grave digger tied around his neck and he wanted to trade for something a little less provocative.

Funeral Etiquette: What to wear and how to behave at Gentleman's Gazette.  The complete resource for flowers, traditions, letters of condolence 

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No More Neckties... What’s The World Coming To?



President Obama Not Wearing a Necktie

 I found an interesting article on line; No More Ties What is This World Coming To? I was inspired to write this post. Below you may find the link to the article. – Jeffrey Hunter


John F. Kennedy, the only president of late that had convictions and played straight pool wore neckties and had such style he could make adversaries quiver without drawing a big bad gun. President Obama is not wearing ties like so many other men in or out of government that surely have a problem with credibility. See this ABC News Post about President Obama and his lack of neckties here. Heck, Obama cannot even claim when or where he was born. I am beginning to believe that he is actually from another Galaxy and was planted here from that alien base on the Moon. Just consider those ears, and of course I did find an interesting photograph of him with an alien, that you can check out right here on an early blog post - President Obama Endorced by an Alien. In that blog post you can see that aliens wear ties but at the moment not many ties are tied around the necks of male half of the human species. Well, at least I can say more ties for the rest of us human men. It is ironic now that we necktie aficionados are the non-conformists.  Lets not forget the aliens that also wear ties

It is true neckties are not as popular as they once were and they have become part of an anti conformist culture to the extent that neckties are truly hated. It is as if a man’s freedom has to be relinquished if he is to wear a necktie. Maybe the guys that hate ties so much are afraid of strangling themselves by accident, or possibly they were hung in a past life, and just cannot deal with it. More likely, the explanation of the absence of ties gracing the male form is the result of a relaxed society and a somewhat less than serious demeanor concerning the attitude of dressing. This casual lifestyle that started with casual Friday has become a “casual everyday” excepted by society as the norm, giving cause to the guys who decided that wearing ties were a symbol conforming to authority.

Whatever it is, their rebellion against tradition has waged for 10 years or more since the dot com evolution ushered in the relaxed dress code at work, something less than professionalism as we once knew. Unfortunately there are effects that this casual approach is exacting that some see as a decline in the overall character of gentlemen and lifestyle. Even the President does not wear ties every day now which has been noted lately in the press. Now that is the “casual” craze cast in bronze if I did not see it with my own eyes. Maybe the future presidents of the U.S.A. will wear fatigues like Fidel Castro next; we are at the crux of a war against terror, or so they say. Wearing urban camouflaged attire in the White House may suit the propagandists; now that would be some message. After all if what they say is true, we have a lot to be worried about.  If in fact, the U.S.A. is up against a lot of people with different ideals, here, over there, in every non American enclave or even not, then civilization is in a very critical balance. It is the justification to invade other countries and even the American home itself with no restraints on what, how, where, and when it is executed.  Now, eves dropping, wire tapping, warrantless searches, arrests and imprisoned without charges, etc can be directed – even on us. So far, the guns are not pointed at civilians but sooner or later that may be.  So fatigues as the dress code for government officials may not be so crazy of an idea.  Now it is unbuttoned shirts and no neckties, nerxt?

For now, the men who make the laws and govern the U.S.A should wear neckties, if not only to make them appear trust worthy with the appearance of credibility, for the sake of tradition. I really do not take much stock in politicians – they are just too much to trust and as always this new president has lied and switched course on every promise he made before election. He has somehow managed to gain support, even if he is a casually dressed guy. None-the-less he should wear a tie everyday so at least his level of seriousness is clear and his influence strong. I guess times have changed but I still wear ties, and I feel a greater sense confidence as unusually of late; I am not competing with much of an equal tie wearing public.

No more ties... what’s world coming to? Sentinelsource New Hampshire

Here is the article from the Sentinelsource New Hampshire

When the Old West posse finally nabbed the varmint who had swiped some chickens from the poor old widow lady’s henhouse, the guys in the posse all yelled “Give him a neck tie!” (They did?) What they meant, of course, was to TIE a rope around his NECK and string him up a tree. Over the decades, that expression has endured, at least in one area of our culture.



Today, whenever a kid asks his mom “What can I give Dad for Father’s Day?”, she is likely to answer (you guessed it) “Give him a necktie!” That prolly won’t work anymore, though, unless the kid’s dad is a minister, a banker, a politician (maybe), a coffin salesman, or a basketball coach (why is that?). For most other men, every day is “casual Friday.”


Ah, the necktie! Whence cometh? Wherefore? And how come? As far as I can figure out from my complicated, exhaustive cravat research, it might well have been Croatian mercenaries in the Thirty Years War (1618-1648) who — for some unclear reason — wore small knotted strips of cloth wrapped around their necks. Somebody in Paris in the fashion game took a look at them and got all excited. Inspired by the Croatian creation, he started a neckwear craze in Europe using similar arrangements of wrap-arounds. So that by the 18th century, high fashion dictated that bands of white muslin be worn outside men’s shirt collars and they were called “stocks.”


Later, in the 1700s, according to my sources, “Young Englishmen returning from Italy (the “macaronis” of Yankee Doodle fame) brought new neckwear fashions (but doesn’t say what they were). Anyway, by well into the 19th century, the necktie had undergone several modifications and improvements, and interest in them became more about how to tie ‘em.


In fact, a bestseller at the time was the how-to book “Neckclothitania,” which described how to tie 14 different cravats, in text and illustrations. And around the mid-1800s, black stocks became more popular than the white ones. I’m sure you’ve seen old photos of famous men of the period like Abraham Lincoln wearing ‘em with a large bow knot tied in front.


From the Lincoln era well into the 20th century, a lot of different neckwear types showed up: the bowtie, four-in-hand, Ascot, cravat, knit, bolo, clip-ons, and even a wide variety of novelties. Especially after World War II, when neckties went bananas. First they got wide — up to 41/2 inches — then narrow to 2 inches — weirdly colored, hand-painted, sexy, and touting schools, teams, products, corporations and organizations of all stripes. Some had photos. Others had mottoes, slogans, adages, jokes, or cartoons.


I was a card-carrying necktie-wearer for many years. So what brought about today’s harangue about neckties? Well, for one thing, their clout is fast disappearing. For decades, no matter how rich you were, you couldn’t get a table at the exclusive “21” Club in Manhattan if you weren’t wearing a necktie with your jacket. Tuxedoed greeter (or not) Chuck Anderson rode herd on who’s goin’ in and who ain’t. If you were otherwise a good paying “member,” you could wear a “loaner” while there. But recently a headline in The New York Times read “Last Bastion for Neckties Throws in the Towel,” with a boo-hoo story about how the present owners of “21” have dumped the necktie requirement, with the comment “So what’s the big deal?” (Jack and Pete Kriendler and Charlie Berns would turn over in their hidden wine cellar if they knew!)


Jackets are still required there, as they are in most of the city’s elegantest eateries. Next thing you know, “21” will be selling off all those great jockey statues in their racing colors out front as “no big deal.” Bah! Humbug! Does every day have to be “casual Friday”? Why, they prolly won’t even allow cigar-smoking at “21” anymore! For Jack, every day is “casual Friday” at The Woodward

John Edwards in Trouble

A not so lean John Edwards wearing a suit
and tie leaving Federal Court

John Edwards' jacket dosen't fit
him, but he has some bigger problems to worry about.

If you look close you'll see that John Edwards is wearing a suit that is not well tailored or probably from days past when he was a bit slimmer.  Regarding his loss in 2008, I think that he would have been a better choice for president for many reasons.  Let's face it the current President has pretty much broken every promise he made that got him in the White House.

Unlike the President Obama, John Edwards wears neckties and portrays a serious attitude, which is a really good thing because this guy needs some respect at the moment. He is wearing a navy suit with a white shirt and a blue tie - all of the things necessary for him to get the "good guy" message across.  He even brought his daughter as a show of family support.  But the one thing he did not do, was to carefully check his appearance in the mirror before leaving for Federal Court and this encounter with the press.  You may note that there is a distinct pulling on his jacket at the button and as well there is an "X" stress point in the fit extending across his chest.  This makes him look fat - as this jacket is too tight for him.  This is a classic mistake that a man can make if he wears a suit that he owned during leaner times.

However, as stated above these problems are the least on his mind.  He was indicted for miss-appropriating $925,000.00 trying cover up his mistress affair during his bid for the 2008 presidential election.  If he would have got in the White House this problem still may have haunted him but by then he would have had enough clout with the powers that be to avoid all of the fallout that may cost him his freedom.

He has admitted being a bad boy, but denied breaking any laws concerning campaign finance laws in attempts to protect his image and his political career, let alone his bid for the White House.  Charged with a six counts of felony he was allowed to remain free but will not be allowed to leave the U.S. while awaiting trial.  That will be a costly affair for him, both financially and personally with the possibility of not only having to go to prison but as well losing is license to practice law.

How he got into all of this trouble is no mystery.  Men often get caught with thier pants down, especially men of power.  A prior post in this blog further explains this further. Why ties have sex appeal and how men get into trouble.   One this is for certain, he will need some advice on fashion as he sorely needs a new suit or a new tailor.  Most important though is he better not show up in court without wearing a tie as that will surely send a message to the judge that he lacks respect and is not a serious gentleman.