A Dead Man's Necktie - Funeral Etiquette

"Trending in the afterlife - funeral neckties, a skeleton wearing a tie"

A dead man wearing a necktie to meet the creator!

What necktie will you wear to your funeral?

Funeral Etiquette, what to wear to show respect for the departed.  You may hate ties but showing up at a funeral in casual attire is tacky.  And what about the departed presuming the "no longer among the living" is not a female what kind of attire would he adorn.  You may have said you wouldn't be caught dead wearing a tie.  However, there is one time in your life, well actually in this case after your life that you may wear a necktie. Regarding your own funeral attire you will not have much of a choice in the matter because you will not be among the living. Despite your desires you may not even get to decide what kind of tie to adorn yourself with, unless you make arrangements before you kick the bucket. That is usually not something that a man tends to think about - a funeral necktie for the departed or not, what to wear after you are dead?  And what should you wear while you are among the living attending a funeral?

Pallbearers in uniform dress 

Funerals are prominent occasion for men wearing suits and neckties.  Not only for the men showing up to pay their respect for the laid to rest, but for the gentleman headed 6 feet under; wearing a necktie is considered the way to leave this life.  Not all men will be dressed in a suit and tie at their funeral and as well not all men will wear a suit and tie while attending a funeral but the men with style and character will.  For the living in western culture funeral etiquette usually prescribes men to wear black, navy or dark grey suit, white shirt and a black necktie; or a dark conservative small pattern tie that is not colorful or loud, certainly not a conversation or novelty necktie and a handkerchief just in case a lady at your side becomes in need of one to wipe away tears.

Pallbearers should wear a suit and necktie and the ties should match if possible.  This uniform style would usually be at the request of the family.  Normally a black tie is called for however there have been unique occasions where a novelty theme necktie would be appropriate.  In the case of a Spiderman fan being laid to rest the family may acquire Marvel Comics Spiderman neckties; or possibly the surviving loved ones want to send a special message by having the pall bearers wear something fun like an art necktie.  Every man should own at least one suit for showing respect on the occasion of a funeral. As for the deceased the apparel does not have to be so respectful, a Looney Tunes Marvin the Martian tie or a Hawaiian tie without a suit could be the ticket. One thing is certain most men are not buried in T shirts.

The man in the coffin makes no argument or contest, he does not laugh or cry he is just the remnants of a life passed. Since most men don't make their funeral attire style known to others ( as it is just too morbid a subject ) their surviving loved ones make the fashion decisions for them.  If the deceased has no loved ones then the funeral director - mortician makes the choices. This may not seem so troubling however some men would not want to leave this life to meet the creator dressed in something that is not of their liking. The mortician takes great care to orchestrate a hue of color and style taking great care to dress and groom the departed making the lifeless appear convincingly life-like.  Those little details like fashion accessories, or a special themed tie pin distinguish a persons character and personality.

Some men, especially surfers would prefer to end their mortal journey in a Hawaiian shirt while others want to leave their mortal life in more formal attire - a suit and tie, maybe the surfer would be comfortable wearing a Hawaiian print necktie.  I would prefer a black tuxedo and jacquard pattern black silk tie.  It there is any truth to the rumors of demons and devilish souls that are waiting to derail the otherwise un-worldly venture it would be decisive to be dressed to "kill" ( well in this case that cliche doesn't fit well ).    

Something related and fairly unusual to think about is the safety coffin.  This is a coffin fitted with a latch inside so that if you are accidentally buried alive you will be able to open the casket and escape "death" literally.  In the 18th and 19th century during the cholera epidemic there were great fears of being buried alive.  In the 13th century philosopher John Duns Scotus escaped from his casket after being prematurely sent to the afterlife and about 150 years ago Edgar Allen Poe wrote "The Premature Burial," "The Fall of the House of Usher," and "The Cask of Amonitillado" dealing with the subject of un-timely funerals.   Sometimes life or in this case death is stranger than fiction. 
   

The JFK Funeral - the end of Camelot

Therefore the illustration above makes perfect sense considering the fact that timely or not, not everyone wants to leave this life for one reason or another.   Unfinished business, an ax to grind, or maybe this "gent" hated that red tie that the grave digger tied around his neck and he wanted to trade for something a little less provocative.

Funeral Etiquette: What to wear and how to behave at Gentleman's Gazette.  The complete resource for flowers, traditions, letters of condolence 

Checkout our cool ties at Nice Tie Store  

The Good Old Days

Gas station serviceman wearing a necktie 

In good old days the young men that pumped your gasoline wore neckties and you can bet those ties were official uniform often with the company logo proudly illustrated on the tie.

It wasn't just cheap gasoline back in the day that made the gas station easier to deal with, it was more than that. When you pulled into a gas station there was something very different to what you experience today.  They were real gas stations, not just a place to get fuel either - they were called service stations.  The "service" as in serving was the only way to go.  It was not considered socially correct to have to pump your own gas, getting your hands dirty and afterwards smelling like gasoline.

Sometime in the late 70s after that orchestrated fuel crisis that saw long lines at the pumps the corporate wisdom decided to cut labor costs and introduced the self service "pump your own" system.  Those "company owned" stations also operated convenient stores along with the gas pumps instead of the usual repair facility.  Their modern gas station now had one employee at a cash register instead of several employees.  The square footage incorporated shelf space for potato chips, candy, and pet food, and coolers for beer and soft drinks.  Gone was the automobile service station.  There was no need to sell tires, fan belts and no need for a soda machine either.

The "company owned" self serve stations squeezed out the independents, openning up across the street which saw an end to the auto service part of the gas station in the U.S.A.as well as the anything else that resembled "service."

Gas station service man wearing a bow tie

I missed those days but not any more.  That's because I have the service in the gas station in my world again.  No, I did not time travel, it was much easier than that.  Although there was much about those days in the 60's and early 70's that I wish I could return to; hence my desire to go back to what I consider to much more sensible times, lest the gas station long lost. 

I now live south of the border near Rosarito Beach, Baja California Mexico and there are real gas stations here.  They often have the convenient store like gas stations north of the border but they have real service.  There is usually at least one person on each side of the gas pump island, so you never feel neglected.  The men and even women that are the gas station attendants take care of the task of refueling your car, they will gladly check the oil, the water and check the tires for air.  They carefully clean the windshields, both front and back and the side view mirrors and they smile despite the salary of less then $2.00 per hour.  They take great poride in their jobs and the gas station service men wear ties too, imagine that..

Why Jehovah’s Witness Men Wear Neckties

Jehovah's Witness Door to Door Minister

You have seen them for sure, those tireless guys that come to your door spreading the message of their religious beliefs.  The Jehovah's Witness men wear neckties when they conduct the door to door ministries which surely makes them unmistakable and at the very least non threatening.  With their New World Translation Holy Bible in hand and a briefcase with literature that helps explain the lessons and the truths about God and Jesus they knock on door after door after door with certain conviction.

My landlord is a Jehovah’s Witness, who along with his friends, visits me often.  These guys are most welcome in my home as I am like most people searching for answers and truths in this crazy world we find ourselves in.  I asked him the other day why he and his friend’s wear neckties when they hit the streets.   His answer was as not what I expected.  With great pride he answered quite exactly, “The reason I wear a tie is because I am representative of the most highest creator of the universe, Jehovah God.”  I would have thought that the response would have been a bit simpler - like he just wanted to look respectful. I replied, "I thought that maybe you did not want to be mistaken for a vacuum cleaner salesman."    Of course I had to have a little fun with him.

Why Jevohvah's Witness Men Wear Ties 

At bible study, on Sundays at church, at minister school on Fridays and almost every other day the Jehovah’s Witness men wear a necktie.  As one of my landlords fellow ministers explained; in their heart they have to dignify the creator and as well show respect to those persons that they are so humbly enlightening.   I would imagine that they want to be as professional as possible about this and what better way to accomplish that than by wearing a necktie.  It is a serious mission they undertake and the last thing that a Jehovah’s Witness Minister wants, is to look like anything less than a gentlemen with integrity and good will.

No More Neckties... What’s The World Coming To?



President Obama Not Wearing a Necktie

 I found an interesting article on line; No More Ties What is This World Coming To? I was inspired to write this post. Below you may find the link to the article. – Jeffrey Hunter


John F. Kennedy, the only president of late that had convictions and played straight pool wore neckties and had such style he could make adversaries quiver without drawing a big bad gun. President Obama is not wearing ties like so many other men in or out of government that surely have a problem with credibility. See this ABC News Post about President Obama and his lack of neckties here. Heck, Obama cannot even claim when or where he was born. I am beginning to believe that he is actually from another Galaxy and was planted here from that alien base on the Moon. Just consider those ears, and of course I did find an interesting photograph of him with an alien, that you can check out right here on an early blog post - President Obama Endorced by an Alien. In that blog post you can see that aliens wear ties but at the moment not many ties are tied around the necks of male half of the human species. Well, at least I can say more ties for the rest of us human men. It is ironic now that we necktie aficionados are the non-conformists.  Lets not forget the aliens that also wear ties

It is true neckties are not as popular as they once were and they have become part of an anti conformist culture to the extent that neckties are truly hated. It is as if a man’s freedom has to be relinquished if he is to wear a necktie. Maybe the guys that hate ties so much are afraid of strangling themselves by accident, or possibly they were hung in a past life, and just cannot deal with it. More likely, the explanation of the absence of ties gracing the male form is the result of a relaxed society and a somewhat less than serious demeanor concerning the attitude of dressing. This casual lifestyle that started with casual Friday has become a “casual everyday” excepted by society as the norm, giving cause to the guys who decided that wearing ties were a symbol conforming to authority.

Whatever it is, their rebellion against tradition has waged for 10 years or more since the dot com evolution ushered in the relaxed dress code at work, something less than professionalism as we once knew. Unfortunately there are effects that this casual approach is exacting that some see as a decline in the overall character of gentlemen and lifestyle. Even the President does not wear ties every day now which has been noted lately in the press. Now that is the “casual” craze cast in bronze if I did not see it with my own eyes. Maybe the future presidents of the U.S.A. will wear fatigues like Fidel Castro next; we are at the crux of a war against terror, or so they say. Wearing urban camouflaged attire in the White House may suit the propagandists; now that would be some message. After all if what they say is true, we have a lot to be worried about.  If in fact, the U.S.A. is up against a lot of people with different ideals, here, over there, in every non American enclave or even not, then civilization is in a very critical balance. It is the justification to invade other countries and even the American home itself with no restraints on what, how, where, and when it is executed.  Now, eves dropping, wire tapping, warrantless searches, arrests and imprisoned without charges, etc can be directed – even on us. So far, the guns are not pointed at civilians but sooner or later that may be.  So fatigues as the dress code for government officials may not be so crazy of an idea.  Now it is unbuttoned shirts and no neckties, nerxt?

For now, the men who make the laws and govern the U.S.A should wear neckties, if not only to make them appear trust worthy with the appearance of credibility, for the sake of tradition. I really do not take much stock in politicians – they are just too much to trust and as always this new president has lied and switched course on every promise he made before election. He has somehow managed to gain support, even if he is a casually dressed guy. None-the-less he should wear a tie everyday so at least his level of seriousness is clear and his influence strong. I guess times have changed but I still wear ties, and I feel a greater sense confidence as unusually of late; I am not competing with much of an equal tie wearing public.

No more ties... what’s world coming to? Sentinelsource New Hampshire

Here is the article from the Sentinelsource New Hampshire

When the Old West posse finally nabbed the varmint who had swiped some chickens from the poor old widow lady’s henhouse, the guys in the posse all yelled “Give him a neck tie!” (They did?) What they meant, of course, was to TIE a rope around his NECK and string him up a tree. Over the decades, that expression has endured, at least in one area of our culture.



Today, whenever a kid asks his mom “What can I give Dad for Father’s Day?”, she is likely to answer (you guessed it) “Give him a necktie!” That prolly won’t work anymore, though, unless the kid’s dad is a minister, a banker, a politician (maybe), a coffin salesman, or a basketball coach (why is that?). For most other men, every day is “casual Friday.”


Ah, the necktie! Whence cometh? Wherefore? And how come? As far as I can figure out from my complicated, exhaustive cravat research, it might well have been Croatian mercenaries in the Thirty Years War (1618-1648) who — for some unclear reason — wore small knotted strips of cloth wrapped around their necks. Somebody in Paris in the fashion game took a look at them and got all excited. Inspired by the Croatian creation, he started a neckwear craze in Europe using similar arrangements of wrap-arounds. So that by the 18th century, high fashion dictated that bands of white muslin be worn outside men’s shirt collars and they were called “stocks.”


Later, in the 1700s, according to my sources, “Young Englishmen returning from Italy (the “macaronis” of Yankee Doodle fame) brought new neckwear fashions (but doesn’t say what they were). Anyway, by well into the 19th century, the necktie had undergone several modifications and improvements, and interest in them became more about how to tie ‘em.


In fact, a bestseller at the time was the how-to book “Neckclothitania,” which described how to tie 14 different cravats, in text and illustrations. And around the mid-1800s, black stocks became more popular than the white ones. I’m sure you’ve seen old photos of famous men of the period like Abraham Lincoln wearing ‘em with a large bow knot tied in front.


From the Lincoln era well into the 20th century, a lot of different neckwear types showed up: the bowtie, four-in-hand, Ascot, cravat, knit, bolo, clip-ons, and even a wide variety of novelties. Especially after World War II, when neckties went bananas. First they got wide — up to 41/2 inches — then narrow to 2 inches — weirdly colored, hand-painted, sexy, and touting schools, teams, products, corporations and organizations of all stripes. Some had photos. Others had mottoes, slogans, adages, jokes, or cartoons.


I was a card-carrying necktie-wearer for many years. So what brought about today’s harangue about neckties? Well, for one thing, their clout is fast disappearing. For decades, no matter how rich you were, you couldn’t get a table at the exclusive “21” Club in Manhattan if you weren’t wearing a necktie with your jacket. Tuxedoed greeter (or not) Chuck Anderson rode herd on who’s goin’ in and who ain’t. If you were otherwise a good paying “member,” you could wear a “loaner” while there. But recently a headline in The New York Times read “Last Bastion for Neckties Throws in the Towel,” with a boo-hoo story about how the present owners of “21” have dumped the necktie requirement, with the comment “So what’s the big deal?” (Jack and Pete Kriendler and Charlie Berns would turn over in their hidden wine cellar if they knew!)


Jackets are still required there, as they are in most of the city’s elegantest eateries. Next thing you know, “21” will be selling off all those great jockey statues in their racing colors out front as “no big deal.” Bah! Humbug! Does every day have to be “casual Friday”? Why, they prolly won’t even allow cigar-smoking at “21” anymore! For Jack, every day is “casual Friday” at The Woodward

Contemplation: On Wearing Ties



A trunk with a treasure of neckties long forgotten

Learning to love neckties again

Earlier today I found a blog post that I thought was interesting enough to share. By sheer chance a box with neckties was found from days past causing a very interesting result. Sometimes by accident a fashion preference will find its way back into the hands and heart of someone. Re-discovering what was once an apparel fondness from earlier in a life is quite unique as normally what was once in style will not be considered to be useful, let alone to be admired. For instance in the 80's every man in America had a Members Only jacket, which have long ago be forgotten. I don't think a man today would be caught dead wearing one of those.

Many men, however not slave to fashion like most women, would not be able to except yesterdays fashion statement as functional attire. Not so much that a man may be so conscious about what his appearance may or may not say about him, it is often more or less a habit or regiment that is lost. People do tend to grow out of a look once found comfortable. Any influence of what society excepts now that is foreign from the past is a factor that makes some apparel not a likely fit in a contemporary life style. Not too long ago bald wasn't beautiful and men wore hats to help disguise the loss of it. The phenomenon of the casual trend in men’s attire has all but taken the necktie and buried it. However, down but not out ties are still worn by many men that have the urge to dress with distinction and to be polished with look of success. Wearing ties does take some extra effort, tying them, and yes you cannot wear a T shirt and the shirt must be buttoned all the wat to the collar. I really cannot blame the guys who take casual Friday to mean casual everyday.   As the story below illustrates some men are re-visiting the distinguished necktie fashion statement and are wearing ties again. Unlike those Members Only jackets ties have a real usefulness to them and they are certainly not something that is out of fashion, at least not yet.

The beginning first paragraph and the last one are below, including a link to read the entire article.  - Jeffrey Hunter
 

General Lordisimo’s Apocalypse Blog

May 9, 2011 - posted by Nathaniel



Not the General - none-the-less this is
a guy who obviously loves ties.  Some of
these designs are my personal favorites.
Jimmy Hendrix Psychedelic By Ralph
Marlin, X-Men by Esquires

Here is a story. I moved into a new house back in February and in the process did the general moving thing of packing up all my things, transporting them to a new location, and then unpacking them (this unpacking process is still “in the works”). During the act of packing/unpacking I came to the realization that I own an exceptional number of ties. Looking through them I can trace them from three major sources; ones I bought at thrift stores for various reasons throughout high school and college, ones my dad gave me that he didn’t wear anymore, and ones that I have received as gifts over the years. Anyways, as part of the moving process I was trying to determine what stuff of mine I really wanted to keep, and what I could potentially get rid of. So I was looking at this bunch of ties I had and thinking to myself, “I might only wear one or two of these a year.” So I decided I either needed to get rid of all the excess ties or start wearing them more regularly. I decided with the wearing. For the past couple of months I have been regularly wearing a tie to work two or three times a week.

It is kind of funny to start wearing a tie to work when for nearly the past three years I had never worn one. A lot of people have asked me “what is the occasion?” which makes sense. Today the humble tie tends to be a decorative piece that is reserved for occasions. It is reasonable to assume that over time the tie may end up going the way of men’s hats, fading into the background of necessary male style. I however think that the tie is worth its effort to this day. It displays a bit of professionalism, mixed with some individuality, and an overall sense of class (regardless of any class that I actually possess).

So here’s to you ties, may I wear you all well!

Read the entire article here and as well visiting this blog is well worth the time. The general is quite an interesting guy Contemplation On Wearing Ties at General Lordisimo's Apocalypse Blog

The picture of the guy with the loud ties is from Style Like U another fabulous blog you'll be glad you found

Evil Neckties For Evil Men

President Nixon and His Cabinet

Evil Neckties?

Every so often I am reminded how difficult my business is.  Selling neckties seems to have a stigma to it that is un-equaled.  There is a law that may pass to make it illegal for doctors to wear neckties in New York to prevent the spread of germs.   And now this very stark post about how it is evil men that wear neckties and that all people should beware.  I am not so evil and when I wear ties I sure as hell do not scare anyone.  In fact I seem to do rather well when wearing ties.  But as you can read for yourself some guys that wear ties are compared to Darth Vader.  That is the case for former Vice President Dick Cheney, who is certainly no favorite around here.  He sure has made an impact on democracy more precisely the lessening of it, not to mention the ever growing belief that he master minded the 911 attacks.

Star Wars Sith Lord Darth Vader

Yes, it is true some of the guys that wear ties are devious and of very poor character.  There are politicians, bankers, lawyers, stock brokers, car salesman, and dare I say even doctors.  And specifically as mentioned above, the former Vice President Dick Cheney is a fine example of an evil man that wears ties.

All though the article that follows below is meant as satire it does make sense.  In this blog I have mad mention about the many reasons men wear ties and that wearing a necktie will make a man look distinguished creating a sense of trust.  So, of course just like an aggressive car salesman a politician can use the necktie as a ruse - disarming those at will.  So, now there is one more explanation why some guys hate neckties.

Dick Cheney

Here is the blog post from - The Next Generation  http://www.thenextgreatgeneration.com

They’re well trained, intelligent, and extremely well funded. Their networks span the length of the land, nay, the world! Sure, they hide behind a facade of peace and tolerance, but we all know their real motives. So I’ll come out and say it, and to hell with political correctness!

These people are, as everyone knows and nobody is willing to say, the men who wear neckties! 
 
The men who wear neckties are the most evil individuals currently walking this earth. Consider the following historical facts:
Perhaps the most obvious of these necktie-wearing sinister extremists goes by the name of Bernard Madoff, and his hustle was the largest Ponzi scheme in history. Madoff made off with so much money from investors chipping-in to his investment opportunities, ($65 billion, ), it’s hard to believe his surname isn’t one of God’s many cruel jokes, right up there with Hot Pockets and androgynous Sesame Street characters.
Now allow the truth to uncover the secrets of a political figure whose telling garb I’ve held under suspicion for years: former Vice-President Dick Cheney ( a little known fact about Dick Cheney is that he is a Dark Sith Lord - not unlike Darth Vader ), with the power to submit people into passing legislation with his mighty force lightning. My further historical investigations detailed Mr. Cheney’s role in the U.S. compromising its international stance on the Geneva Convention, an agreement the U.S. had upheld since 1949, after the horrifying events of the second world war. read the entire article here 

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Star Wars Darth Vader Necktie