Desert Necktie Joke

Then there was Mike, the Irvine Spectrum Center Houdini Magic Store magician who claimed to know about a man who walked through the desert on this narrow road for miles and miles and miles, day after day after day. He became very thirsty and hungry too, as he walked and walked and walked.

On the first day he found a little cart selling neckties and all he wanted was a drink and a hamburger with French fries. The lady at the tie cart knew of no place to get food. So the man walked on, and walked on, until in the distance he saw another cart hoping that it would be a food and drink stand. When he finally walked up to it, all they were selling were neckties, and again the lady knew of no place to get food or a drink. The man walked on continuing for days. And, every day he would see in the distance another cart, and all that was for sale were neckties.

Just like a mirage, over and over, nothing for miles and miles in the desert, and then another necktie cart selling neckties? And, no food or drink.

The man was very tired and very hungry and very thirsty, and finally after days, and days of walking, and looking at neckties on necktie carts in the desert day after day he saw in the distance a building. It was bigger than the carts and it had windows with curtains. It was a restaurant. The man could not believe his eyes and, when he finally walked up to it and was not a mirage, it was not another necktie cart, it was French Restaurant.

The man could hardly believe it. He opened the door and there was a French man with a neatly trimmed mustache in a tuxedo standing with a menu, and said with a very thick French accent, said “Bon Jour”.

The man asked for a table for one, at which point the maitre'd exclaimed,

"But sirrr vee could not poossiblyyy serve youuuu with outttt a necktie."

www.nicetiestore.com for great deals on collector novelty neckties

Martin Wong Silk Ties - Fashion Necktie Collection

Martin Wong silk ties have made their place in men's fashion neckwear for more than 15 years. This collection of neckties is designed in bold patterns and colored in soft hues.


With an accent on Art Deco style these neckties are very unique. This is a special collection not found anywhere else on-line and only available in one department store chain. Most designs are limited to one tie per design.

Each tie is a limited edition design fashioned in imported silk.
 
Martin Wong Ties at www.nicetiestore.com/martinwongties.html

A Star Wars Ties

Original Photograph by Jeffrey Hunter - copyright 2003

This is a life size Yoda about 4 feet tall and he was as real as possible, almost C.G.I. Real "Official Licensed Star Wars Tie wear I will." I love Star Wars but not the newer ones like I love the first three which became the last three numbers 4, 5 and 6. It is charming although confusing enough that Yoda talks backwards. I guess for a guy that is nostalgic making the prequels ruined something that had become a special thing for me. Now I was having to except a story that explains stuff that replaced my imagination of what was possible - the events before Luke Skywalker would ever hold a light saber in his hand.

Yuu may be wondering how I was able to find Yoda let alone get the chance to tie the Star Wars Yoda Tie around his neck. That is easy; just down the street from where my home used to bed in Imperial Beach there was a doughnut shop where the Jedi Master Yoda was very proudly but obscurely displayed high on top of a Coca Cola Machine.

Making Yoda look like he is in outer space was not as easy as finding him but I was able to fix all of that in Photo Shop. The blue horizontal pattern is what was white vertical blinds and I have no idea how I did the rest of the background as this was back in 2003, but it sure is a convincing look me. I stood on a chair to take the shot as Yoda's master ( yes he now has a master at least this Yoda ) would not let me dare touch hum. His value according to the doughnut shop owner was hundreds of millions as there were not many life size Yodas made and he somehow got his through a Star Wars Coca Cola campaign.

It was sad to see Yoda being bullied around by the doughnut man but heck this was Imperial Beach not Hollywood and not a long time ago in a galaxy far away either.

Check out our complete collection of licensed Star Wars Ties, click here Nice Tie Store

Jennifer Aniston Gets Hot Wearing a Tie

 

Wearing a Neck Tie Has Never Been So Sexy

Jennifer Aniston on the cover of GQ January 2009  Bares all except for a necktie

A woman in a necktie is actually really sexy. Women wear men's dress shirts sometimes - usually in the morning and after an intimate night. Maybe they will start wearing neckties as Jennifer Aniston illustrates so effectively on this cover of GQ. There is at least one other very risque photograph of her inside the magazine with two lucky gentlemen.

As a costume or for fun a tie around a lady's neck is a different look and looking out of the ordinary can be cool and very sexy. A lady in a tie is a bit unusual, however a waitress at Denny’s or the Cheese Cake Factory has to wear a tie. If the lady is wearing a man's suit and a tie then maybe she likes girls and ties.

Now a man in high heels and stockings is above and beyond unless that man does not want to be a man. Besides looking like a foolish and confused man pretending to be a woman those high heels are not so easy to walk in. Which brings to mind a thought about dressing up or not.  The next time a guy complains about the trouble that ties are to tie and wear maybe he should try walking in high heels. He will probably stop complaining about wearing ties.

Check Jennifer out on the David Letterman Late Show commenting on this wonderful photograph. She gives the tie that is illustrated on the cover of GQ January 2009 issue to David as a Christmas present. Of course he ties it however it is not an XL and the tie ends up way short causing David to remark, "You know what they say about guys with short ties."

After reviewing the video a dozen times I noticed that David is tying his tie in an unusual way so it may not be the tie being not long enough but his tie knotting technique that is the problem. I think I'll call him and offer to be a guest on his show and give him a Windsor Necktie Knot tying lesson.

Wow Now That's A Very Sexy Tie - Jennifer Aniston wears only a necktie

Click for more Jennifer Aniston

Check out some too sexy ties at Nice Tie Store   Fashion Neckties at Nice Tie Store

The Mathematicians Are at It Again – The Math Equation to Tying Ties

I found this years ago surfing the web.   - Jeffrey Hunter

How to correctly tie the perfect Windsor knot - LtCfRtLfCtRfLtCfT

At Cambridge University's prestigious Cavendish Laboratories in England, two mathematical physicists, Thomas Fink, and Yong Mao, tackled the question; How to tie neckties?  They concluded that -

• First: that the necktie has two distinct ends, one wide and one narrow, which led to the fact that only the wide part, (the active end), moves during necktie knotting.
• Second: that the movement is divided into three distinct areas, the left (-L-), the right (-R-), and the center (-C-).
• Third: that the movements of tying a tie carries the active part towards (-T-) or away from (-F-) the shirt, alternatively. The special move at the end is going through the center, or pull through (-T-).
• Forth: Now the easy part that should clear up all the fuss about tying ties; the mathematical equation.
• Finally! How to correctly tie the perfect Windsor knot - LtCfRtLfCtRfLtCfT

For instructions and a great article about the Windsor Knot click here or visit our blog post link from March 5th

Learn How to Tie The Windsor Necktie Knot at  Nice Tie Store
 
http://nicetiestore.blogspot.com/2010/03/mystery-of-windsor-necktie-knot.html

Crazy Ties For Men Who Want To Be Noticed

"The books I read and the life I lead are sensible, sane, and mild. I like calm hats, and don’t wear spats, but I  want my neckties wild."

-O.K. News, 1964 Kiwanis Club -  Oakland California

If you like silly novelty ties then you already know about what you’ll read here. If not then maybe you will end up owning one or two. Those weird ties are called conversation ties because they are real ice breakers when it comes to making small talk. Smiling comes easier - the novelty tie has its place in fashion accessories, if for that very reason alone. Waiters and especially even waitresses know this as approaching a table to help with sorting out what’s going to be on the table for breakfast, lunch or dinner is not an easy job. Taking the edge off that often sometimes stressful task is the funny tie. A tie that illustrates Bugs Bunny or a happy face will lend an easy tone to the wearer and it usual will lead to a nice tip. That is unless some great mistake or lack of attention on the part of the waiter or waitress ruins everything.


A bar tender will benefit from wearing a novelty tie and everyone knows that pediatricians will get through the task of examining a young child much easier if he is adorning Winnie the Pooh proudly on his tie. It could be Spiderman or maybe it’s a guitar that you love, whatever you may fancy, it’s probably on a tie. School teachers who wear fun ties may be trying to close the generation or maybe they just want to make the kids smile. That is at least one purpose exactly of what the novelty ties does - it makes people smile. Showing the love of a hobby or a fondness for Elvis by proudly wearing a necktie illustrating so is a real form of expression. And if you love Star Wars then you can wear a Yoda or Darth Vader tie. Life is very short to be serious all of the time and maybe just wanting to dress with an unusual tie is on order. No harm in proudly letting the World know about your obsession or possible even love affair with an out of this world green midget with super hero strength and intellect or maybe it’s a giant dark and very mysterious guy with a lot of issues who wields a sword of laser light..


Whatever the reason sporting a fun novelty necktie is harmless and can actually help a guy meet a girl or even get a loan at the bank. Then of course maybe wearing that unique tie is the absolute purpose of need. Some guys just hate that feeling of conforming to a dress code. Sometimes a young man must tie one on, by following the rules as he has to be in good standings with the powers that be, his boss for instance. Then in that case wearing a tie that is about as different as night and day from what a banker would wear is the answer. Conforming to authority by a wearing a tie and still feeling like a rebel none-the-less.


Jeffrey Hunter

You'll find plenty of wild ties at Fashion and Novelty Ties by http://www.nicetiestore.com

Prom and Home Coming Animal Print Neckties

“A well tied tie is the first serious step in life,”


Oscar Wilde, poet, dramatist 1854 – 1900  He tied his first tie at the age of 2 while wearing a smoking jacket. 

To purchase a zebra, leopard, tiger,or cheetah tie click on this link http://www.nicetiestore.com/anprti.html

There comes a time in a young man’s life that he reaches a level of sophistication that will transform him from a boy to a man. As far as Oscar Wilde’s desire to dress up he certainly was not tall enough to be looking very manly but he surely looked very elegant and a bit more serious than the average 2 year old. At least the result was becoming more grown up and a teenager will surely realize that stature. It is the simple effect of learning how to tie a necktie and being more serious about attire. Thanks to the demands of young ladies, peer pressure, dress codes, and a desire to be fashionably correct wearing a tie is an a pre-requisite of at least two high school occasion.

At least twice a year young men and young women of high school age are dressed to the nines and out on the town. Often the young men are wearing a tie that compliments the dress or the accessories to the dress that his date is wearing. If the young man is not wearing solid red, blue or other vibrant color neck wear then that tie could very well be a zebra or a leopard necktie.

Every young man in high school looks forward to home coming and prom dance. Besides having the opportunity to have the special girl as his date it is one more step in becoming mature. For the past several years at least the dresses and accessories that has been the choice of the ladies is animal prints. For the past three years zebra prints have been popular. Before that it has been leopard prints.

The young men at the insistence of their dates wear a tie that compliments the dress style. So if you see many young men wearing a zebra print tie or leopard print tie you will know it is home coming or prom.

BUY ANIMAL PRINT ZEBRA, LEOPARD, TIGER, AND CHEETAH TIES
Animal print ties at www.nicetiestore.com/anprti.html
Zebra print ties at www.nicetiestore.com/anprzesitie.html
Leopard print ties at www.nicetiestore.com/anprlesitie.html

The Mystery of The Windsor Necktie Knot

Learn how to tie ties

The Mystery of the Windsor tie knot revealed. It is a very romantic and intriguing story of how this beautiful necktie knot came to be. Learn how to tie the most fashionable tie knot, the Full Windsor.

Please click here for the revised article  The Romantic Story of Windsor Necktie Knot




Both the Duke and Duchess of Windsor wrote books about their lives and their mutual love. “A Kings Story” was released in 1951 and his wife’s book “The Heart has its Reasons” was released in 1956.

Click here for The Windsor Tie Knot Diagram

Click here for the documentary on You Tube illustrating the historic abdication

Fashion and novelty neckties at www.nicetiestore.com

National Geographic Ties - Official Licensed Neckties

These classic silk neckties are official National Geographic apparel illustrating world maps, Egyptian themes, and wildlife in classic art work. These are perfect gifts for teachers, travel agents, and world travelers.

The National Geographic Tie Collection is inspired by the world renowned photography and articles of cultures past and present, as well as the natural elements of earth, sky, and water. They are no longer made so they are official licensed collector neckties.

National Geographic Magazine has created an understanding of our planet and inspired people to care about conservation, nature, culture, and wild life since 1988. The educational value, and the benefits that have been realized from the institution that National Geographic is priceless.

Check out the National Geographic Tie Collection at  http://www.nicetiestore.com/nageti.html

Click here for National Geographic

The story behind the Manhattan Skyline Photo

Original Photograph by Jeffrey Hunter - copyright 1990

The Manhattan Skyline

What does this have to do with ties?  Plenty!  You will just have to read this post to find out.   And the previous post.

The Rainbow Room on the 69th floor of 30 Rockefeller Plaza is known for its killer panoramic view of New York City, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Connecticut.

It is exactly 20 blocks north of the Empire State Building and if you happen to time it right you will see Manhattan in all of its glory. That means showing up right before sunset and in the winter months. If you check out this posh art deco style bar during the summer months or close to them the buildings office lights will not be as saturated. In that case the view is less then picture perfect but still sensational. New Yorkers may be really serious about business and work however they do go home at the end of the day and it is usually not at 4:00 pm.

I took this image at around 5:00 pm in December in 1990 with an old Nikon mounted on a tripod. I had to buy a $65 bottle of wine and wait until the waiter opened the bottle before I set up the entire rig. It was a 4 minute exposure at f11 with a nikkor 50 mm 1.8 lens. This was no easy task as the camera had to have a cabled shutter release and the lens had to kiss the window squarely and that tripod and the rest of my gear was not so pretty to look at. In other words it was a full tilt production.

The manager came over almost right away and asked me to quit or leave. I argued that I was not abandoning my bottle and I was not anxious to quit with just one or two frames shot. I was with an attractive lady but that did not seem to help matters. I had a nice suit and of course a tie tied with a Windsor knot as well. A Mexican guy with movie star good looks and a really gorgeous blond were seated next to our table. He looked like he was really wealthy and with a motion of his hand he waved the manager to his side. With the softest of tone he whispered "The photographer stays" And that was that I nodded and he acknowledged by gratitude.

Maybe it was a combination of my dare, the creative edge I was pushing, the bottle of wine and my moxy that impressed him. But there will never be a doubt in m mind what really made it happen. I had a nice suit on and of course complimented by a beautiful tie which persuaded him to intervene. After all if you are not in a suit and tie then you are not getting out of that elevator. If you forget the tie you can fix the problem by running to the nearest corner and buying a tie on the street for less than the price of a beer in that lofty bar, ( about $10.00 now ). If you do not have a suit then that is also not a problem. There are plenty of men’s shops anxious to sell another suit to a tourist who did not pack a suit because he did not know that New York City is actually a very classy place.

Jeffrey Hunter
fashion and novelty neckties at www.nicetiestore.com

Forty Four Things Not Possible Without a Necktie

Original Photograph by Jeffrey Hunter - copyright 1990

The Rainbow Room on the 69th floor of 30 Rockefeller Plaza is known for its killer panoramic view of New York City, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Connecticut.   No suit and tie - you better forget this one.

1)    Entrance to the Rainbow Room 69th floor 30 Rockefeller Plaza.
       Famous view of the Empire State Building and  Manhattan.
       The view from the film “Sleepless in Seattle"
2)    Proper burial
3)    Make great impression at the bank
4)    Make great impression at job interview
5)    Make great impression in front of a judge
6)    Visit a Strip Club and have girls pull your tie ( phallic symbol )
7)    Can not be inaugurated as the President of United States
8)    Gain entrance into any bar in Reykjavik Iceland, where some of
       the world’s most beautiful and friendly women kick back.  If you
       can smile and you’re not God awful ugly you could never leave a
       bar alone especially if you have brown eyes and dark hair
9)    Be a lawyer that makes big money
10)   Be a doctor that makes big money
11)   Be an architect that makes big money
12)   Be a neck wear salesmen or sales rep that makes any money
13)   Be a bartender in a bar where “gentlemen” drink
14)   Work at Denny’s as a waitress
15)   Work at Cheesecake Factory as a waiter or waitress
16)   Work at Dave & Busters restaurant & entertainment center
17)   Get your ass kicked in a fight unless you are really good at
        fighting. No worries if you wear clip-ons
18)   Pretend to be successful
19)   Be a pit boss in Las Vegas
20)   Hang out with gangsters in New York City
21)   Be a television news anchor
22)   Be a basketball coach or lately on a high school basketball team
23)   Come out of divorce court with anything
24)   Go into Bankruptcy Court with any hope
25)   Turn a woman on watching you tie the tie
26)   Really turn women on talking off a tie
27)   Feel like a million even when you’re broke
28)   Be a best man at a wedding if you want to have any class at all
29)   Get married unless you have no class
30)   Be a secrete agent
31)   Be a car salesman that is not miss-taken for golf pro. Some
        dealerships have golf T dress codes
32)   Over dress anywhere in southern California even with a denim
        shirt and a novelty tie
33)   Be a manager at a store that sells anything but casual street
        clothes or a car repair shop
34)   Hand over your tie when you go to jail
35)   Get a job as a limo driver
36)   Be an airline pilot
37)   Go to the Academy Awards
38)   Have lunch with a head of state
39)   Convince the bank manager to reverse over draft fees.
40)   Have lunch with your boss unless you live in Southern California
41)   Burn a hole in your tie lighting a cigarette, cigar, or if you live
        in Southern California a joint
42)   Visit the world famous Magic Castle in Hollywood California
43)   Get completely drunk and turn your tie into a head band 
        making a fashion statement none-the-less
44)   Make a big impression on the spectacular gorgeous babes in
        Adelitas in Tijuana – the greatest bordello in the world.

If you decide that you actually need a tie after reading this just visit fashion and novelty neckties at www.nicetiestore.com

I Love Ties

Recently I found a blog post entitled "Die Necktie Die" These guys really hate ties. So I commented as follows.

Wow - such hate and towards a fashion accessory. It is as if it was a straight jacket.  I love ties, and women love ties. I also love women. I will continue but I really should not have to as those last two sentences should easily sell the argument in favor of ties.

We are all entitled to have an opinion and hating is not healthy but I am guilty of being a hater too. I hate button flies in jeans instead of zippers, that’s because I cannot un-do those buttons fast enough and if I am in a pinch for time, pissing on myself is an embarrassment. I also hate shoe laces but that is another story, I prefer cowboy boots not because they have no laces, but that is a plus.

Now the rest of the argument for ties to live. Only God decides who lives and who dies and that could or should apply to fashion accessories - but for the record.  When I go out without a suit and tie I just sort of blend in with every other guy. If I am dressed in a suit and tie my appearance is polished and special, which commands attention and respect. Dressing up has always been a distinction of having self worth. I feel like a million even if I am broke and nothing else that I know of can do this job. An example comes to mind; remember Schindler in the beginning of the Steven Spielberg movie Schindler's List. With a mission to network into big business deals Liam Neeson carefully organizes himself down to the finest detail before going to the club. He makes the opportunities he needs because of his style. He is thought to be the most important gentlemen in the house - because he looks the part.

I really do not know why so many men hate ties. It is as if they are just in a rebellious frame of mind against looking successful and being handsomely packaged. Shakespeare said, “The apparel oft proclaims the man," He was not just commenting on a fashion statement but factually making a point.

So I do not care if some men hate ties. If I am the only guy "dressed to the nines" when I go out chasing babes then that means I will have some advantage. Do not kid yourself women really do like ties. And a man will get greater respect if he is dressed the part. Ties are actually fun to wear. They are a statement and the only way a man can artistically express himself, save tattoos and wearing a pair of pants hanging so low that you are cracking. Now that is another way to get attention and quite possibly a conversation starter with women. Showing off my undies or what is beneath them is not what I want to be remembered for, at least at the first impression.

I do not strive to be the serious guy either wearing a tie. I am not trying to be someone that I am not. I almost never wear conservative boring striped ties; mostly I wear loud bold pattern designs with very bright colors or novelty ties. My favorite tie is the Silver Surfer in silk b Ralph Marlin, no longer made. I used to surf and illustration of the Surfer gliding through the heavens with a bright cosmic universe as the background is just literally out of this World.

So the best to all of you guys that are afraid to tie a noose around your neck of whatever reason it is that you hate ties. I have a web site selling ties and a blog - I make a comfortable living and I can work my hours, listen to my music and wear a tie or not regardless of who says what the dress code is. I once wrote a funny essay called 41 things that you cannot do with a tie. I will post it to my blog today. Everyone one of the items listed is a fact so you cannot say that you were not warned.

And just in case you decide you better have at least one tie and you dare not own a boring conservative model, we have you covered. We have ties illustrating Spiderman, Mickey Mouse, Marilyn Monroe and lucky dice, hot rod flames and so on at fashion and novelty neckties at www.nicetiestore.com

Mr. Silver the Monochromatic Tie

Original Photograph by Jeffrey Hunter - copyright 2000

This is a fashion statement for the solid color tie worth more than a million dollars. It was not long ago that the Regis Philbin on his Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Show caused a necktie sensation that had men and women in a “twilight zone like” trance over the stealthy monochromatic fashion statement. For a living as a robotic mime, Mr. Silver takes that monochromatic look quite seriously.

Read more here

Check out our complete collection of ties, click here Nice Tie Store

About Neckties - Buy Ties

About Neckties - Buy Ties Blog is a fun blog including everything you ever wanted to know about ties. : Current news about neckties, fashion trends, interesting and fun articles about men wearing ties, and some famous women buying them, how ties are made, including the complete history of ties are posted on this blog that was first published March 1 2010.  We have been designing a selling neckties since 1995 so if you have va question please use our contact form below and we will do our best to help you.

You can learn how to tie a Windsor Necktie Knot with the easy lessons outline in our trade marked tie tying diagram, and learn about the romantic origin of the highly respected and fashionable Windsor Tie Knot.   Some of our posts are serious academic articles and others are satirical.  Included are very funny stories about men's fashion and very creative collection of photographic art that we call Ties In Photo Art. .

If you are looking for collector neckties illustrating Spiderman, Superman, Mickey Mouse or other novelty themes then you have found the place. Not only will you find links to our retail site Nice Tie Store that specializes in rare collector novelty ties you will find articles discussing who designed and made the Beatles Neckties, the Famous Fish Shaped Necktie, the Endangers Species, the collection of Erte Art Deco Ties, Fornasetti Art Ties and more.

Our on-line tie catalog offers ties that are almost impossible to find anywhere else. We carry novelty necktie illustrating; occupations, gambling, patriotic, religious, music, fine art and other fun themes. You'll find cartoon character ties illustrating Looney Tunes, Disney, Peanuts, Spiderman, the Simpsons and more. Included are Specialty conversation licensed collector neckties by Star Wars, Tabasco, Endangered Species, Ralph Marlin's Hollywood Movie Stars, and National Geographic that are no longer made.  Available as well are the wild fashion ties by Electric Neck Wear, and a special collection by Martin Wong,

Be sure to bookmark this blog. To view our catalog click here 
Visit our on-line store for collector novelty neckties at www.nicetiestore.com

Thanks for visiting

Jeffrey Hunter
www.nicetiesatore.com

z35W7z4v9z8w